Contradiction

I find myself often contradicting what I feel and what I say. I say that I hate my job yet I relish in the freedom it gives me all the time. Sometimes all we do and say doesn't coincide with anything we do or say but yet we expect people to understand us and accept us the way we are yet we don't even know how to.

We all have a little identity crisis at least once a week, where you will question even if it is just for a split second if this is really what you are supposed to be doing with your life and with your precious little time. I say to hell with it all because it ends up being propaganda in any case. I say I don't care about the politics in our country yet I cant help but be captivated by the playground tactics being used by high powered officials.

I say I am not influenced by religion anymore yet my entire life, friends, mannerisms and life is this way because of my deep involvement with my religion. So we all have contradictions and contradictions normally represent a lie. All lies start out as someone else's truth, a tall tale we weave because we have heard the scenario before from someone else and just spun the truth to fit our lives. So if all lies lies are based on some measure of the truth then maybe my life and the contradictions it holds do represent a deeper truth and maybe I am the person I am now to just kill a little time till the real me shows it's glorious head.

If you think you are not where you are supposed to be then ask yourself how did you get to the point of realizing you went off course? We cannot know the good without the bad and we have to get lost before we find out where we are supposed to be. I will not pretend like I am a smart ass that has all the answers neither will I be ignorant to my own intelligence, I will try and be a contradiction of note to each category of my personality.

My life is my contradiction and I challenge you to see your own and embrace it.